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| IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEBODY GETS HURT |
DEAR SERGEANT AL: Last weekend during
Carmageddon II, I was caught rollerblading on the San Diego Freeway, not far
from the construction, but closer to one of the fringe detours. The CHP officer
who was blocking the exit ramp wasn’t having it and was adamant about giving me
a ticket. I can understand if the highway was open to traffic, but c’mon, it
was closed and I just bladed one exit over for a shortcut. Given that the
highway was closed the weekend for construction, is there any chance I might be
able to get this ticket dismissed in court? – LUKE BLADEWALKER
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DEAR MASTER LUKE: Ah, I see the force definitely wasn’t
with you on this caper. You
must be one of the fab seven who got ticketed by the California Highway Patrol (CHP) on the 405 for being a pedestrian
on the highway while it was closed for construction. It is difficult for me
to garner any sympathy for you. Like your road warrior colleagues of
Carmegeddon 1 last year, the young couple who decided to pull up chairs and a table on an empty car-less I-405 while road construction was underway and snapped a picture that went viral on Facebook, your actions could have had more serious
consequences than the prank you all thought was funny and novel. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets
hurt. Did you know for example, that a big chunk of the old Mulholland Bridge
inadvertently collapsed on an empty 405 below during demolition, an unexpected
consequence of them tearing down the old bridge? Had one of those crew workers
been injured, an ambulance would have been needed. If one responded, there you
would have been, blading away in the way of the ambulance out of nowhere, and
possibly causing an accident by the ambulance swerving out of your way or
running you over. Since the road was supposed to be empty, any emergency vehicle
would have had the expectation that there should be no obstruction, to race to
the scene right into your prank that would have turned into a tragedy. Sorry,
but you deserved this ticket. Consider yourself lucky; as in some jurisdictions
around the country, a pedestrian on a highway is considered either a criminal
court summonsable offense or an outright arrest. Either way the CHP officer
could have hauled your ass into LA Superior Court if he wanted to.
On
the other hand, the CHP spokesman who spoke to the LA Times deserves a
raspberry for his comment about the newly wed couple getting a ticket as “a
wedding present” after being caught on the highway while it was closed on the day after they got married. I
wonder if he would ever want to get a “wedding present” like that by the police
one day, especially after he retires. It doesn’t help the PR relations cause of the CHP to be giving out
“wedding presents” of such nature. The CHP is not in the business of giving out "presents," nor joking about such things isn't really funny except in the police locker room. Not a
good choice of words, CHP guy. Luv the CHP I do, but next time just tell
the media a couple got a ticket and leave it at that. It’s enough that the CHP
is in the business of ticket writing to not be making snide comments to
aggravate the situation to rub it in and mitigate the CHP’s reputation for that
matter.
Anyway LUKE, the California
Vehicle Code is awash in regulation from Sections 21949-21971 that makes it
clear whether you a walker, skate or snow boarder, blade runner, skater, skier, electric
or regular bicyclist, or just a plain jackass to do something stupid like relocating
your booty onto to a public access highway, opened or closed, without it being
inside a motor vehicle. Rules are rules, and I’m afraid they got you. My
suggestion, however, is to hire a lawyer, a traffic one in particular, as this
ticket screams of being resolved with a lesser charge and a negotiated settlement if not a clever
defense for acquittal or dismissal. Hell, although the chances are remote, you might even find a lenient or
sympathetic judge who gets it, and will let you slide on this one. Personally, I
think there’s a chance you might have to go to traffic school with this caper
with a promise never to do it again, so it’s best to let a lawyer do the
talking for you to increase the odds of that happening. BUT BE CAREFUL: go about it yourself and you may put yourself in a situation where the judge will make an example out of you which I can also see happening if you're not careful . . .
Highways were made for vehicles,
not pedestrians. Carmeggeddon II was an event. The Mulholland Overpass is a new
bridge. We all did our best to stay away from it. You foolishly chose to go toward it. We all got over it. So should you. Keep your feet off the highway. Like
the song goes, “nobody walks in LA.” MASTER LUKE lemme know what happens in court. Good
luck.
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